Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Just a whisper...

Thanks to Miss Mummy Daze's prompt for this week... "Whisper"

When I was a little girl my home was something from a story book. Not an idyllic fairy tale with princesses and unicorns... more like a magical comedy.

My family is full. However like most large families that is never actually the case, we seem to grow exponentially, attracted through marriage, birth or acquisition of long term friends. My pop would have said, "throw another cup of water in the soup", always welcoming a stranger to our crowd.

It is the noise that sticks with me, a background hum, tick and tumble that marked the ebb of our life together. As an adult I still crave it. I find myself doing housework with the t.v. on, writing essays in my local pub and finding anything to giggle at or sing along to just to fill that void.

We grew up and we spread around the world. The distance is deafening.

It was almost a surprise to me that my saturday morning coffee ritual suddenly wasn't as precious in my silent weeks. That buzz and hum gave my alone time value.

It pops back to me in little bubbles that home, leaving me with a little vignette as it breaks.

The downstairs of our home was hewn in to the side of a hill it was cool and dark. Showering the light would filter down through a shaft, golden and dust filled. The air in there hung with the faint scent of chemicals from a photography lab that Dad and I would set up in the holidays. The small brown squares creating a mosaic of poor workmanship under my feet. You soon learnt where to step for fear of scratching or slicing.

Then it fades.

A loose floorboard, no not a floorboard, a skirting board. Just a few inches of skirting board jammed between two doorways. It could be slid out if your fingers were small enough. In that little gap I buried a note to myself fifteen years ago. tucked under the floor is a tiny map of a tin my baby brothers and I buried at the far end of the yard. Still longing to unearth it,

and it fades.

I have a new family now, my boyfriend, my friends and workmates. Collected and stacked higgedly piggedly in my heart, Slowly building a chatter, a squeal and a din.

Its still there though, the hands and smiles encassing mine, still moulding me and bringing me age in whispers. Its just a whisper, but its enough to sustain me.


  1. Beautiful. I always envied friends with big families. So much chaos and fun to be had!

  2. Sounds idyllic, I almost felt as though I was there with you - you MUST go back and undig that tin!

  3. I know Emma Ive been thinking of it so often lately. Maybe its time for a trip back to the country! ANd Yeah Miss Daze big families are amazing, Im not sure how mum and dad managed it but they definitely gave me a bit of a gift, but big families are made many ways so its never too late to add a few friends or extended family to the brood xxxx