Wednesday 12 October 2011

Physician Heal Thyself.

Today I made a decision.
I haven’t weighed myself in a long time; I’m just not a big fan. I know that once I weigh myself, I will obsess. I’ve been a bit fixated in the past and part of growing up for me was choosing to only measure myself by the clothes I wear, how I feel about my body and how healthy the food I eat is.
Lately that has not been a sufficient measure… things have gotten a little relaxed on the waist, arse and thighs front. And by relaxed I mean… fat.
Usually in this situation I would launch into a furious diet, find a trainer, draw up a schedule, deny myself alcohol or deliciousness.
Usually I start a journey of self-loathing that would successfully whittle my self-esteem down to slim.
Not this time. I’m just not doing it. I refuse.
Ok so I’m no longer a size eight, but I’m really proud of who I am and what I do each day. It takes immense amount of patience, love and dedication. Ok so I don’t like the way I look and I miss wearing my favourite things but, I’m managing a huge load at university and work, and keeping my relationship spiffy and my house (mostly) clean.
So this time I’m not going to get angry at myself, I’m going to remind myself that I love what this body does for me and that I need to take some more time loving it. I might need to put me first, not the house, or the study or my lovely time-consuming-often-inconvenient-and-unorganised boyfriend. Love you honey.
Off to the greengrocer I went. I bought everything I felt like, spinach, pears, apples, parsley, garlic and many other goodies. I went home and made a huge salad, sat in the sun and put my uni work aside. I just enjoyed Being for a little.
Then tonight I went old school and had an Epsom Salt bath. A favourite of mine, Espom salt is cleansing for the skin (or so I read) and I had a good old fashioned soak. Tomorrow I’ll make tracks towards the gym. This leaves just two things:
I solemnly vow to blog in love about my health progress once a week.
And secondly this, I hope that others will join. I’m new to blogging, but I’d like to make an offer. Share my blog with others and comment beneath (indicating where you shared it), In return I will send the first five of you (do the math.. there are currently only four of you!) a box of Epsom salts and candle bath pack, on the promise you have a long soak and consider that masterpiece you are living in, look how much it’s done for you, what it represents and reflects in your life. I bet it’s given you heaps, let’s give it a little love back.

3 comments:

  1. Ohh how I wish we had a bath. But do you think I can fit in the sink, no matter how hard I try?

    After my stomach bug yesterday, all I wanted was a soak in the bath. My body craved it. I settled for sinking into the lounge and watching Louis Theroux instead whilst eating a sticky mango.

    Love your writing hun xxx

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  2. Oh you poor precious soul, sticky mango and theroux (dear I love him) will have to do. Send me your address to 1gracequest@gmail.com, I'll sort you something else instead! THanks for the reply!

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  3. I love this Grace.

    I'm one of those who just gets so obsessed with the numbers and the rule how I feel. I went through a year where I lost 25kgs and I was feeling great.. for all of 2 months and then because I'd let the number crunching go it just all started creeping back in and I'm almost back to my starting point now a year later. I think it has something to do with the fact that I'd never really thought about ME in all of it, it was just the numbers, the grams, the inches, the centimetres, the percentages, the kilojoules.... oh the kilojoules...

    I'm slowly coming around now to trying to get MYSELF back on track, and not in a strict mathematical approach but in a holistic and caring way that nourishes my WHOLE self and is something I can take with me always.

    I like the fact you realise you BEING, is you being true and yourself - regardless of what size and shape you are, you're the only one who can lead yourself to true contentedness.

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